Note: The following is a personal anecdote I shared with a few close friends that found it empowering for them. Therefore, I’ve decided to publish this story in hopes of helping others in similar situations. -♥ Jen
The thought of losing my parents never crossed my mind. But life is full of surprises.
The doctor has recently diagnosed my mom with HER2-Positive Breast Cancer, stage 2 — on the edge of stage 3. It’s crazy that my mom had been seeing multiple doctors for over 6 months in Taiwan and none of them could figure out the cause of the chest pains she’s been having for the past year.
My dad was the one who called me to deliver the news. February 23, 2018:
“Hello? Jenny …? So it turns out mom tested positive for breast cancer. If you can fly back to Taiwan and come see her this Spring Break I think it would be best. Sorry that you’re hearing the news like this. I have to go now, they’re doing some more follow up tests…”
It was the first time I heard my dad cry. It shattered me to pieces. My whole life, I’ve always wanted to help take the stress off his shoulders and let him lean on me. The one time he needed someone to lean on, I wasn’t there.
Since then, I’ve tried to do everything I can to be a good, loving, supportive daughter. Both my parents were in Taiwan 70 percent of the time that year, so I frequently went back home to check on the house and keep it clean. I loved driving home from school because it gave me 2 hours to clear my thoughts and enjoy the view of the cornfields. However, the part I hated the most was coming home to an empty house.
Even though it was a simple task at hand, I struggled. Every time I went home, it was another reminder that I’m the only person on this side of the globe with no family members. It felt lonely and soulless. The entire house was filled with silence -if not interrupted by my scuffling. I cried myself to sleep frequently. The lonely nights were hard to pass when nightmares came and no one to escape to.
I struggled with my fear of the dark. I struggled with extreme wild thoughts of losing my parents and being alone in this world. I struggled with having the motivation to wake up and start my day. Nonetheless, I wanted to do everything I can to support my parents. Even if it’s the smallest task such as taking out the recycling or emptying the mail.
I am now thankful for this struggle and having the opportunity to live through this experience. I didn’t know how strong I was until my only choice was to be stronger. I’ve come to appreciate every relationship I develop with the people around me and grew stronger connections with the ones I love.
My parents are the closest people to my heart in this world. Nothing can replace them or their love. It doesn’t matter how spread out we are, even if we’re miles away, time zones away, planets away -I know that their love will always be there.
And even after they’re gone, one thing is for sure:
this love isn’t going anywhere.
